Operation Birthday Girl
by Espiritu
Summary: Just HOW did Major Sheppard find out? Spoilers to 'Before I Sleep.' One Shot COMPLETE.


Title: Operation Birthday Girl  
Author: Espiritu  
Rating: PG  
Category: Humor (implied Sheppard/Weir)  
Spoilers: 'Before I Sleep'  
Summary: So HOW did Major Sheppard find out?  
Author Notes: Many thanks for your kind reviews. I really appreciate all your positive feedback. I am working a new story in the drama category called Retribution, but after seeing a clip for 'Before I Sleep' I just had to delve into the story behind how Sheppard found out Weir's birthday. This idea came to me while driving home from work and would not let go until I wrote it down.  
Disclaimer: Stargate Atlantis isn't mine and never will be. I just use them for fun, not profit. 

Operation Birthday Girl

Major John Sheppard was a man on a mission. For once, he was determined for it to be successful. To that end, he purposefully strode down the corridor on his way to enlist the aid of the only person he knew was up for the task ahead.

As he entered Dr. Rodney McKay's lab, he saw the scientist amid a cluttered pile of Ancient gadgetry. He was busy jotting down notes on his electronic palm pilot as he inspected a particularly complex-looking device. McKay looked up to see Sheppard standing just inside the doorway, leaning casually against the doorframe.

"Ah Major, your arrival could not have come at a better time. I need you to touch this device to see if it does anything." McKay indicated the current object of his scrutiny.

Sheppard brushed aside the scientist's request. He did not have time to perform the usual job of lab guinea pig. "I'm not here to touch things today, McKay. I came to ask for your help."

"My help? With what, did you forget where you parked the puddlejumper?" McKay couldn't resist needling the major every chance he got. It was just too easy.

Sheppard rolled his eyes. "Ha ha. No, I was thinking more along the lines of a black-op type assignment."

"Black-op assignment?" McKay's eyebrows shot up.

"Is there an echo in here? Yes, black-op. That's military speak for secret mission." Sheppard smirked.

It was McKay's turn to roll his eyes. "So what clandestine operation do you have in mind? Digging up dirt on Kavanaugh that we can taunt him with? Trying to uncover Beckett's hidden stash of single malt scotch?"

Nope, I need you to help me hack into Dr. Weir's personnel files."

McKay looked like a bomb went off. "You want me to what?"

"I said I want you..."

"I heard you the first time." McKay cut the major off. "Dare I ask why you want me to get into classified and highly secure files."

Sheppard leaned in closer as if he were afraid they would be overheard even though no one else was in the lab. "I need to get into Elizabeth's records so I can find out her birthday."

"Not to state the obvious, Major, but wouldn't it be easier to just ask her?"

"Now where's the fun in that, Rodney?" Sheppard stated slightly shaking his head and grinning.

"Oh, and getting thrown in the brig for computer piracy is your idea of a joyous time?" McKay sometimes wondered why the major went out his way to look for trouble. Especially since Sheppard always seemed too determined to drag him into his hare-brained schemes. "Weir will have our heads if she finds out."

"So then we just have to make sure she does NOT find out." Sheppard replied as he steered the reluctant scientist towards his desk where his laptop lay.

"Besides, how can I surprise her if I ask her?" the major innocently asked.

"Surprise her with what?...Oh, nevermind! I don't want to know. The less I know, the more I can deny knowledge of the break-in when I am arrested and interrogated for information." McKay sighed and resigned himself to his fate.

"This will cost you."

"I have four chocolate bars-milk chocolate with nuts-with your name on them."

"Deal."

McKay sat down at his desk and opened his laptop. After typing in a few commands, he looked back up at the major who was peering over his shoulder. "Do you mind? I need space and some privacy. I can't concentrate with you hanging over me as I work." McKay grumbled as he hesitated over the keyboard. "

Sheppard raised both hands and put them palm out as he backed away from McKay's desk. "No problem. Don't mind me. I'll just stand over here."

The physicist gave him a you-just-do-that glare and resumed typing. Every now and again he would mutter to himself as he worked. His curiosity getting the better of him, Sheppard could not resist getting in a little verbal dig to spur McKay on.

"Having trouble over there McKay? If you think it might be beyond your capabilities, I can always ask Zelenka for his help or maybe Dr. Beckett will tell me."

"Zelenka! Ha, he couldn't hack his way into an electronic memo pad. And Carson would mention to Elizabeth that you asked. He's terrible at keeping secrets."

The scientist spoke without looking up from his computer screen. "Besides, I'll have you know I was president of my high school computer club and was the best hacker there. I once got into the highly secure files of a major think tank by rerouting their primary network database...Oh why am I telling you this? You wouldn't know a hard drive from a source code."

Sheppard decided it was not the time for a sarcastic retort. At least not until McKay finished hacking into Elizabeth's private files. He contented himself with inspecting the pile of gadgets on the physicist's workbench.

While waiting for McKay to work his computer genius and access the files, Sheppard randomly picked up a small oval object that looked like it was made of colored crystal. The gizmo looked like a paperweight. Did the Ancients even use paperweights? As soon as he picked the item up, it glowed with subtle iridescent lights and emitted a low-pitched beep. Whoa, definitely NOT a paperweight. McKay looked up sharply from his computer as Sheppard quickly set it back down on the table.

"Mind not handling that while I'm not there to supervise you and keep you out of trouble. It's a rather delicate piece of equipment." McKay admonished from across the room.

Sheppard cast him back a slightly sheepish look. "So what's it do?"

"I am not entirely sure yet. But, keep your clumsy mitts off it for now. I don't want you breaking anything I haven't finished investigating."

The room was quiet as McKay continued typing feverishly at his keyboard. After about ten minutes, he frowned and muttered softly. He stopped typing and looked up while rubbing his finger along his chin.

"Hmmmm, I've run into a snag. I need her account password to fully open the file. I tried several I thought she might have used, but they didn't work. I even ran an encryption algorithm to see if it would cypher any encoded passwords. No luck so far, but give me time."

McKay drummed his fingers on the desk as he thought of the best way to bypass this roadblock. Sheppard looked lost in thought for a few seconds. Then, a knowing grin played across his boyish features.

"Let me try."

"You? Like you, Mr. Soldier Boy, have the intelligence to figure out an encrypted password. Do you know just how many permutations this would entail?" McKay scoffed at the idea the major could figure out the password so easily.

"As a matter of fact, I do. Want the exact number?"

Sheppard walked over to the desk and nudged McKay out of his chair. "Move over Mr. Sci-en-tist. Let me show you how it's done."

The major sat down in front of the laptop and deftly typed in a word, blocking McKay's view of the keyboard as he did so. The screen flashed an access okay message and within seconds, the desired file appeared into view. Sheppard scrolled down the page until he found the date he was looking for.

"Perfect." He logged off and closed the laptop's cover. Standing up, he slapped the scientist on the shoulder. "Thanks Rodney. I owe you one."

The dumbfounded McKay looked back at the major. "So how did you know Elizabeth's password?"

"I could tell you, Rodney. But then I would have to kill you." Smiling, Sheppard walked around the desk and sauntered across the lab.

"I will leave you to your work. I have to get going to the mainland. I have some shopping to do." Sheppard headed for the door.

He paused as the doors opened and turned back to look at the scientist who was still standing in front of the computer.

"Oh, and Rodney...if Weir does ask you about this, remember mum's the word."

With that parting statement, the major strolled out into the corridor, softly humming the "Happy Birthday" tune as he headed towards the jumper bay.

Two Days Later:

_Elizabeth Weir stood on the balcony and looked out over the ocean. As she stood in quiet contemplation, the doors hissed open and revealed John Sheppard. He entered onto the balcony to join her._

_"There you are."_

_"Hey, just stealing a breath of fresh air. She rubbed her arms and turned to face him. "I thought you were exploring the city?" she asked._

_"About to."_

_He walked over to where she stood._

_"I saw something on the mainland the Athosians made. He reached into his pack and took out an object wrapped in a black cloth that he handed to her._

_"Happy birthday."_

_She looked at him in surprise as she accepted his gift and quickly unwrapped it. In her hand was a handcarved jar. She turned it around, admiring the workmanship._

_"It's beautiful." Her eyes narrowed suspiciously. "How did you find out?"_

_Sheppard just flashed a secretive little grin. "Mum's the word." With that, he turned and walked quickly out leaving Weir to silently speculate just how he did._

Fini


End file.
